E: The Buster Bronco Challenge

Twas Sunday night. The streets of Lafayette were enveloped with a blanket of silence. Students burned the midnight oil, chasing deadlines for tomorrow. Their living room lights were the only visible evidence to their endeavor. As I stare out the window, there was a sense of emptiness filled with presence of good company. Living closer to quarter of a century now made me realize that life is hard to plan or predict. My head lost to my heart, and yet it persevered, wanting me to shut the world out so that it’s easier, it’s manageable. That bit had me profound, caught me off guard and I gave in only to run out again. Because loving people puts me on my feet, pushes me up that mountain and soon, will be the fuel to my fire.

LanceT. did the challenge this morning at Tiffany's. Poor fellar was THIS (pinches fingers) close to winning!

 *yawns*
Vonnie S.

Q: Your 6 o'clock is a full moon and your 4 o'clock is a half moon.

You logged into your Facebook account, hoping to see the number of likes obtained from yesterday’s posted video on that Wall of yours. It’s exciting to know what your friends think about it too. I mean let’s be real, how often does anyone come across a cat barking or in my case, a pop tart cat farting a rainbow as it flies across the sparkling universe. Actually, I recant my statement. Forget about the video, your research assistant partner is informing you about the meeting tomorrow. Good, I take it that you’ve been in this scenario at least once in your technological lifetime, one way or another.

It's amazing how social networking sites have changed over the years. It used to be MySpace or Friendster, now Facebook or Twitter; and I can't help but wonder what's next? Really, it will not cease to surprise me for sure. In the end, as much as I try staying away from these things, like a case of addiction, I'll keep coming back for more.

Wish I never grow up,
Vonnie S.

Q: Philip is "arrows" (aroused).

A post to remind me of the most stressful class this year.

Global Warming Conspiracy Theory

This refers to unproven allegations that through worldwide acts of professional and criminal misconduct the science behind anthropogenic global warming has been invented and is being perpetuated for financial or ideological reasons. Proponents of such allegations refer to the scientific consensus as a “global warming hoax”, or “global warming fraud”. ~Wikipedia

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Premise 1: If the intention of global warming may be attracting financial support for climate researchers, it is nothing more than a publicity stunt.

Premise 2: If it is nothing more than a publicity stunt, it is a hoax.

Premise 3: If the intention of global warming may be attracting financial support for climate researchers, it is a hoax. (1, 2 HS)

Premise 4: The intention of global warming may be attracting financial support for climate researchers.

-------------------

Conclusion: Global warming is a hoax. (3, 4 MP)

Weightless,
Vonnie S.

Q: You like (to) woo man.

I often try to practice what I preach or you’d say, to walk the talk and ending things in a graceful note. It isn’t easy being non-hypocritical; there is always that awkward moment when I try explicitly not to judge, not to succumb to my emotions knowing that by tipping the balance scale, there’s a lot at stake. And time and time again, it disappoints me that the bread doesn’t rise like it should, something is wrong with the batter. Once again, I walk along in the dark, kicking pebbles with my Nike shoes, breathing in that cold soon-to-be winter air.

Is there something I can take from this? When one starts to cry, you sit and wonder why. Could it be, are they right, is there something out of sight? Hard to tell. I’ll just keep searching and soon enough, I’ll find what I’m looking for. 

Stacks up,
Vonnie S.

Q: I swear if she saw me naked...it's okay.

Maybe life is just one big puzzle. Except the difference between life and the puzzle you love so much, is that life is an imperfect puzzle that has been missing a few pieces from the beginning. They say when God created this world and gave us this puzzle called "life", He took out some of the pieces, leaving us an imperfect game.

What should I do, if the puzzle piece that God took out of my life turns out to be you?



Falling to pieces,
Vonnie S.
Credit goes to kenabe (c) Look, a puzzle

Q: Stop thinking like this :(

When something is impossible, it means it can't be done. So I told myself over and over, that I should let it go and not hold onto it. I'm half-way across the world from Malaysia but my heart still seems to be exactly where it was. Just like it was five years ago, when I thought we were done with this. Just like the period when I kept lying to myself, telling myself that your past and present self are entirely different people. ktsiong might have been right when he said it takes time for true sadness to settle into one's heart. I wonder how much time I'm going to need until this sadness fades away forever?

because I care,
Vonnie S.
Credit goes to draftpodium (c) The falling Leaves

Q: Let's tape it back together.

Some relationships are like a broken wine glass, once shattered it should have remained shattered. The efforts of trying to piece it together is both arduous and tedious. Along the way, these hands will be scratched and from the opening wounds they bleed, staining all possibilities and testing patience. I watched the glass manifested to its glory days, but somehow, when the sunlight shines through it, the cracks are still visible on the body, which reminded me of present's remnants and what would be--a future's past.

Cherio,
Vonnie S.
Credit goes to Raingarden (c) Glass: Friendship

Q: The best thing to do is to forget...

It’s just what it is. MeiYi called to talk about my regrets, both tearing up with every passing seconds. When she was left bleeding to death by the curb, we were having a sound sleep in bed, safe and thoughtless, taking our mortal lives for granted. It was sickening that I vomited, even as I doused water over my face and had them sting my eyes; dealing with this wasn’t great news. Tell me this ain’t true, tell me this is all a lie. But here in the manifestation of a tombstone engraved in her name, we see streams of people in tears, and I stood silent, still in shock, still wishing this is but a nightmare.

After five years, you’d think I forgotten. I’d think I did too, like how I’ve forgotten my cousin’s birthday, my SPM results, my first pen pal’s name, but this memory refused to lie beaten. I am not supposed to be dealing with this right now, KaviS. wanna talk about other less depressing things. This is ridiculous, I am at home, in bed and I am sweating.  

too much too long

Q: When Myrtle died...

These nights had me waking up feeling numb as though my lungs was collapsing and my pillow was soaked for some reason. Messed up, this time of the year is like so. In small gasps, I found myself barely able to control the pulsating heart and the anger...it pisses me off greatly that I just stood there not being able to do anything. My frustrated self wasn't able to cope well with it even after many Octobers and instead of telling myself that it ain't my fault, I can only hear myself going "Shit shit shit shit..." The playback button isn't so fun anymore.

...he's forgotten.
vonnie s.

E: RIP Steve Jobs

Today, I came across a picture on Facebook that my friend had taken in school; it was for her best friend's birthday. I do not know this girl, but just from that one picture, you can feel the love she must have had for that day. The friends, the smiles, and more importantly the presents. Disclaimer: This post is not meant to be arguing for materialistic value. Trust me, you'll get it in a sec.

So, people are always wondering "what do I get for him?" or "I don't know what she likes", that's a dilemma when you don't know that person well enough to be making even a mere educated guess. Birthday presents are a pain, especially for the sender, hard choices to make and one worries that it might offend the birthday kid. Seriously, a gift should come from the heart, no matter what. It must serve a purpose, given thorough thought, and believe that in some impossible manner, it is made for him or her. It's all about making dreams come true.

I too struggled with this one too many time, it's always a hit or miss and even as a child, I use to think the bigger the better, or the pricier it is the better. It begs the question of value, if you give me an iPad, oh yea sure, any reasonable person would be happy at that thought, BUT is it necessarily the only thing that could potentially make it the ultimate present? At one point in life, I could afford an iPad of my own, so that no longer tugs at my heart as say...a handmade birthday card? Cheap materials, check; but what makes it expensive is the fact that this gift is Priceless, one of a kind tailor made with the recipient in mind.

Okay, I suck at handcrafting stuffs, must I really force it? No. There are more ways to bend around the rules of defining 'special'. Recall that I do mention the word "purpose" and "given thought". She always wanted a penguin plush toy, and you have that cash in your pocket, search for it. He always wanted that Risk board game so badly that he would stop by Toy 'r Us every time just to look at it. That ought to have shed some light on a rather cloudy day.

Right, so the only thing birthday kid wants is the dang iPad. Getting it doesn't mean you're being materialistic and you are feeding materialism. Say, you did save your lunch money to cash in for the iPad, you sacrifice not buying that new arrival dress, or you simply quit shopping for two whole months! Commendable efforts count, because you are "making dreams come true" by doing this. There you go magician, have a spin round the thinking hat and when you do actually pull out a rabbit, you're in it to win it.

Back to my friend, she and her friends made the birthday girl a doll house out of pop sickle sticks, baked cupcake cake, handmade pop-up card, and a plush doll. She said, "If I could turn all of you into dolls to keep you all with me forever I would." And that makes a whole lot of difference.

Keep fishing,
Vonnie S.

Q: LOL is Lad On Lad, when guys say it; Lady On Lady, when girls say it.

Studying for the Critical Reasoning exam later at 4pm. I’ve been in this class for a month now, and it taught me to salute those who are majoring in Philosophy. Seriously. I don’t know how you people can manage this but I am certainly hitting the rough edges. These p’s and q’s, logical explanations, deductions and inductions are just so out of reach (literally alien language); I wish I can bundle them up and watch them burst into flames. GG.

Let’s pray LaurenB. doesn’t find me in this computer lab.

No True Scotsman,
Vonnie S.

Q: Hey look! Even the leaves are falling for you.

"Let's spar. Be serious with me for once."

Back then, the idea of kick boxing ktsiong was absurd; on second thought, I would say that walking home to mummy with a black eye and some bruises could have easily gotten me a one-way-ticket to the "talk room". So, I gave a light punch on his shoulders, and told him that I wasn't going to because he would beat the crap outta me anyway. Discovery Channel showed me that it delivers massive pain and I am not ready for it. ktsiong gave me one of those look a puppy would give you when you take away his toy; I don't mean the cute face, it was that disappointment that egged me on. I let out a long sigh, as though by doing that, I could garner some courage after all.

"Fine. Just don't turn me into a panda okay?"

Three years ago, the back of my right thigh had a bruise so dark you'd think I need a surgeon to remove that "blood clot". That same year, I had to limp across campus for a couple of days. The sting was horribly annoying, counting the fact that losing to ktsiong probably felt suckier than getting into a car accident. At least I know how to drive - to take control - of the vehicle, but muay thai had me in the room, vulnerable and exposed. The initial punches were gingerly dodged or blocked, it was the sneaky side kick that pulled me to the ground like gravity. There, I yelled "Time Out!" Just a red patch. I kept going.

See, he's a sweetheart to leave me with such a big hickey. But he was giving me an experience I probably would never have with any other people. Five years ago, on that same day, my good friend passed away. She haunts me even today - the week after my birthday is the worst - for I'll be in the most crappy mode. Let's put it this way, I'll literally let my loved ones get the brunt of it, not on purpose, it just happens. That year with ktsiong, she never came visiting.

Dolphin Tales,

Vonnie S.

Q: It's Lee Harvey Oswald, you dork!

To sum it nicely in words,

Saturday = Outlet shopping and Four Winds Casino buffet.
Sunday = Birthday bash at The Musketeers'.

Four birthday cakes this year, that's certainly a record breaker! Goodness, what did I do to deserve this treatment? Thank you, thank you, thank you, and thank you. Sweet, I won Dicescapades with my eyes closed. Just pure awesomeness!

Don't push it child,

Vonnie S.

E: Happy Birthday to Me!

Man, it's already 22 years? Time really flies, and when I say it flies, our bird has spread its wings because it doesn't crawl like it used to. I was trying to keep up with the years, taking it slow but I believe with the coming of every Sept 21, it's an incessant reminder that I have one less year on earth. While it may sound severely depressing, I assure you it's rather on the contrary. (I kid you not!) In fact, I'm content, frequently looking on the brighter side of this situation. Look, if age didn't go countdown style, would I have appreciated the people around me more often than I already not? Would I have not at least, try to enjoy every second like it's my last? No cliche intended.

I digress. You're probably not here to listen to emo stuff, but of course, it's all shooo last year. Sure, that's why I will be sharing something else for 2011. This particular thought is dear to me, private mushy stuff, you get the drill, so kindly bear with the birthday girl. :) Every year, my birthday candles are blown after I made a wish. And every year until I was seventeen, I always wanted something and strangely (whether it's believable or not) I - like every child you know - would reserve this wish for a birthday or Christmas. You get only one shot at what you want. Daddy always reminded me to "be careful with what [I] wish for".

However, at eighteen, I had lost the ability to want, and I still remember quite clearly on one 19th, how I pondered about it. This inability troubled me so much that I had refused sleep. It surprised my teenage self how dauntingly haunting this can be, so much so that by the end of the ordeal, I figured I may as well hope for world peace. After all, my wishes did came true 90% of the time. (The ten percent being having wished hard for a horse...that's physically impossible.)

Then on the eve, I received a call from good ol' MelC. Our dear friend called to wish me in advance, and as usual, I get a slice of her daily troubles plaguing her cheerful self. It was but spontaneous, I made a wish that year, my wish for MelC's happiness. Then it got real, for every birthday cake I blow out, I'd wish for someone in my life. And as though it's coincidentally so, the years after that had me blowing away candles on two cakes at a time. I swear on my horse plush collection, it's true. Today was no different.

I had a surprise from my Kzoo friends. Yes, I was honestly surprised by their presence, but I knew something was coming, judging by RyanA's weird antics. Haha^^ But it's commendable tho, how they all took their time to celebrate it for me. As always, I am forever deeply indebted to these kind souls. Lo and behold, two cakes (made by TraceyT. and CatherineK.) showed up. If that wasn't a coincidence enough, I don't know what gives, man. I smiled, already knowing who I had in mind for this year. Let's just say, one is for a big brother I never had (wishing so that RyanA. may be emo-less) and the other for my SaiYi (hoping so, she will be strong enough to finish Master's).

Someone told me once upon a time that, "only a life lived for others is worth living", no?

22, you have yet to disappoint me.

Vonnie S.

Q: My Very Precious Friend

This is overwhelming. Like those bubbles trying to break surface, I am but the thin layer of water resisting them, refusing to allow deterioration to what it already is. Then to put on a weak fight, I believe I was losing it, nevertheless taking it as though it naturally ought to happen. To watch others made the kill, I stood there still panting as the deer pranced further away into the thick woods. I gripped harder, and let the rain wash all there is left of the animal's trace. With each teardrops sinking into the earth, hardly forgivable for even hope seems to diminish at every second of my existence. Not being able to comprehend this ephemeral moment, I laughed. Laughed hard like there was no one around to watch me, laughed long like the continual rain outside, laughed significantly enough to make me forget what's damaged and in the end, I recreate those bubbles again. My Coke, still gassy from lunch, is sugary as ever.

Quite the melancholy,

Vonnie S.

Q: Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure, if I knew you were missing me too.

I needed to get away from civilization and JamesK. was the answer to that frustration. Beruang (yes, that’s what we call him) is a super duper Malaysian senior here in Kzoo. This bubbly Indian got me heading into the woods for some mountain biking. I missed nature (all those camping days) and jumped at the opportunity. Timing was great too, a Sunday evening at Gulf. Why not take the time off to reconcile with nature? What can I say, it’s been a tad bit too long since I’ve worked these kitties and they whine every time I push them hard over the slopes. A word of advice and reminder for mua: Do stretching before embarking on rigorous activities involving your body. You do not build stamina over one hour.

Yet another super senior, SudeshW. was with us too. He was thoughtful enough to have brought a water bottle for me (claiming that if I use mine, it would be dirty by the end of the ride). Now, I didn’t have my very own bike and here, JamesK. came geared with every biking supplies you need. Quickly Beruang propped me into the snazziest looking combination of mountain biking accessories. A green helmet, cool shades, and the bike itself! After coating myself with a good layer of bug spray, we were off!

Truth to be told, the ride was awesome. No joke, it was taxing but fun, cos with every turn, you see different sceneries. Takes you out from the city and other related tasks at hand. Only disappointment was that we couldn’t see any wildlife. *sigh* Perhaps next time, when I hit around Eagles Lake. Beruang stayed with me while we sat by the lake watching the sunset for a break. He started talking about his late wife, how he would pick wild flowers for her or go kayaking with her to the big ass tree with an eagles nest in it. For the first time in a while, I teared up in front of another person; I couldn’t help it since he looked forlorn as he spoke so lovingly about her. Somehow you ended up wishing someday you will have the experience to love a significant other as deeply as he did. I made him promise not to talk about our lil secret. Haha! By the end of the six mile trail, I got out with several mosquito bites and some scratches on the mud covered leg.

Sudesh? He finished a good 40 minutes earlier than we did, so he extended his trail for another 2 miles. Let’s just say everyone pancited by the end of the day. And I, had a good night’s sleep and sore body the next morning.

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. ~Claudia Ghandi

Missing you,
Vonnie S.

Q: To liquify put in warm water.

Need I elaborate? This game is for the win!

Played it at AnP's today. 11 songs straight with an average of 95% in total.

Nei ge bei gor hou chi hiong jiu kam qiong.
Vonnie S.

Q: God is super pissed!

Man, where do I even begin today? A lot has happened over these couple of months; I wouldn’t be able to summarize them all in a short post. So let’s just narrow down these chunks of history and filter in the more significant points, and I leave you to wonder about the rest.

My roommate is moving out for real. While I ought to jump on my couch gleefully raising my hands up to the skies crying “Hallelujah, thank you for answering my prayers!” there’s always a flip side to every thing. I realized for the first time in a while, that I am actually aware of what I want to do, instead of rolling with the flowing. I had plans, drafted them out in my sleep and had them haunting, having doubts on people most of the time and now finally, I have the ultimatum – if that ain’t wonderful news, I don’t know what is! RanchA. is right. Why the eff should you give a dayum about what people has to say? They aren’t the one paying for the food on your table, or the one buying the house sheltering you from a raging storm. (Well, yes, it’s raining pretty hard right now over here.) So yea, if you need me to convince you that I’m right, you obviously don’t know me. With that said and done, a good friend would give the benefit of doubt, and trust them; not wavering over blatant rumors, deliberately painted out to form accusation. Period.

Say, I hadn’t really touched on my practical training at all in my writings. Well, maybe just a lil but to be perfectly safe from unwarranted attention, I would talk about this in the minimal-est extent. Let’s just put it this way. “Giraffe”, “monkey”, “elephant”, “car”, “ball”, “fish” and “uh-oh” are like the most awesomest words. Hi5 and clapping hands are extras but help in increasing behavior momentum. Wagon rides, pop-up toys, killer whales, and count books are the coolest reinforcers. “Sit quiet” if she decides to stand on the chair (frequently) and “gogogo” for a game of tag. Nais, ktsiong thinks I’m a “pedophile”.

New laptop! Interestingly after much pondering and advocating for Asus, alas I decided to get an HP. Why? Because there’s a good deal on the laptop; cheap with great specs. Plus, I can always change to another one after five years. So there you have it, I would be getting a new HP Pavilion and an XBOX console to boot. See what I mean by “good deal”?

This was written after a 2am hair wash and having to wake up at 7am with the rain pouring from the heavens. Samui~

Yare yare,
Vonnie S.

Q: A little story of the Old...

Sometime into my dream yesterday night took me down the vista of years till I see a younger me, clinging onto my eldest aunt walking along the streets of Old Seremban. Like a baby koala, whose mom and dad were honeymooning Down-Under, it must have felt awful being misplaced. However, that’s the idea of a honeymoon; three people don’t fit nicely together in that term box. They had to find someone to house the fledgling for eleven days. “No fear”, yi ma gleefully exclaimed, “she’ll be as healthy as a young bamboo shoot when you love-birds return.” I was expectedly flabbergasted, and so I cried like a busted water hydrant for a day. It finally stopped after late Grandma Ah Nin made me a grasshopper out of some lalang grass.

Part of that memory constitutes an even bigger picture, which served to build my philosophy of life. What descended upon this six-year-old was the cruelty of reality, of learned helplessness and of appreciation. I have probably not told anyone about this; primarily because this happened a long time ago (in which memory is all but coherent) and also it seemed insignificant to many.

I digress. Holding onto the grasshopper, I walked hand in hand with my aunt along the streets of Old Seremban. (We covered that part already.) I recalled the line of buses at the station, commuters shouting for tickets, and the counter person’s indifference to their worries of not being able to board a seat in the bus. SO much noise fascinates an innocent mind, yet we continued towards Terminal 1 for some shopping experience. As my height allows me to have ample servings of knee views, it was easy to spot a 20 cent coin on the floor. Unbeknownst to my aunt, I had it swiftly in my hands as we entered the tattered building.

While she looked at clothes, I remained mesmerized, looking at the variety of colors and mannequins, like a deer entering a city (technically, this ain’t a city, and I ain’t a deer, but you get the drift). Holy Barney! There’s one pillow with loads of Barney snippets sprawling across it. I was ecstatic and my brains were spurting out. And omg behind it was one with many fishes on them. Somehow in between those discoveries, I lost sight of my aunt. As frantic as I ought to have reacted, I curiously walked out of the store into the main space only to have felt even more panicky than I had felt before. I wasn’t crying, that’s for sure.

In one corner, there was this boy. Yes, he was alone. Probably a little older than I was, but that didn’t matter because right in the back of my mind I told myself that perhaps he was lost too. Then I would have a friend and we could go find our guardians together. He sat there, that boy in his worn-out track pants and slippers (I got so used to staring waist down first), clad also in his grey Power Rangers t-shirt. It didn’t matter to him at all that he smelt funny or his hair was messy, for he kept eyes on passer-bys while persistently jiggling the paper cup in his hands. Before I know it, I was next to him. Seeing the cup filled with coins, prompted me to give mine away. And so I did and the boy stared at me with a look that splits between syukur and surprise, nevertheless he smiled. He then pointed to my right across my shoulders and I turned in reflex to see a worked up aunt storming towards our direction. Yi ma grabbed hold of my hands and yanked me away from the boy. “Don’t talk to strangers,” she said, “…dangerous” and under her breath I heard words like “dirty” and “beggar”. Beggar? What’s that? But it never did escape my mouth. Now, this memory wouldn’t leave my conscious either.

Blah,
Vonnie S.

Q: Ephemeral is in essence "fleeting" or "brief".

Today, my aim was to cover three week’s of GRE Prep works and I marginally met my goals at 9.45pm. As predicted, the remaining time is scarce and I am left to worry about potentially not doing well for the exam. To be a procrastinator is to either be a blithe fool, or don’t be one at all, otherwise you’d stress yourself silly. I wish I can stop being a worrywart; but with $160 and my future on the line, one cannot not give a fig about this hurdle. Thus I persistently study while people around me have endless time playing, basking in the glorious sun outside. On top of that, I have these people hounding at my collar, trying to drag me along with their fun and games. The yanking, hardly persuasive and (truth to be told) was having me tested on the verge of annoyance.

Yet, I caved in. In my mind, I’d say “just this once, our friend won’t be here for long.” So we went to the Art Fair together at Downtown Kalamazoo. It wasn’t too bad, considering the friendly folks we bumped into and yes, KatherynD. was there too, shopping around for books costing a dime each. The exciting part of this trip was forgotten somewhere along the lines of a white lie and that of everything else back in the apartment. The sun was merciless though, and must I mention that Vewen’s mango smoothie could make any complete healthy being turn diabetic overnight. The rest continued to Crossroads. I came home empty handed and sweaty from the heat. Cold running water never felt more heavenly than before.

After studying, ShetaT and I decided to create our very own North Pole. The heat was unbearable, and we soon had to drag out the portable air-con into the living room. That baby worked wonders, despite the wacky internet connection. Stupid Charter. Oh, X-Men was awesome! I know that for a fact because instead of staying home, I was dragged to Rave to watch it. See what I mean, people can’t lay their hands off me. Did I mention that even as I return home at 1 am, I was still strongly encouraged to follow along to South Haven tomorrow morning? Not this time. I had to decline although I hate seeing that disappointing look on her face. And now at friggin 3 am, my neighbors are letting out fireworks. FML.

Restive night,
Vonnie S.

Q: Ark...ark...

That’s why I ought to put discretions somewhere in this blog. Although it was meant to be on a regular daily basis, I still fall thru. What I can tell you is that there’s a whole lot going on right now I could hardly pull a chair down for a sitting. So, as I pathetically dry my hair using the fan in the room while watching How I Met Your Mother on the TV, I’ll be multitasking for a bit. Just for the fish of it.

Thwart the fact that I’m busy, it’s friggin hot over here in summer. I feel like a poor mango sorbet left to melt under the sweltering heat and boy must I spell uncomfortable out so that these bugs would leave me alone!! Frankly speaking, these nights has been rather insomniac, for the air-con is in the living room and my room suddenly changed into an oven.

I’m so sorry for sounding like a total jerk. Can’t help it since I have the reason to, then again not everything is entirely bad. For instance, I told a good friend that I’m doing my practicum at a local autistic center and they put me in charge of an eighteen month old little girl. But our friend could only recall the “practicum” part and had to gasp. “What the heck is that? It sounded dang wrong.” See what I mean when I say guys think using their bawah. Unbelievable.

Suit up,
Vonnie S.

Q: Stop right there, Corona!

Poems in your Pocket Day was educationally fun! Serious sheet, Mrs. T introduced it to the class while making a quaint remark in which suggested that we might find this activity “childish” but “enlightening”. I couldn’t help but to join in on this celebration of poetry, because this was going to present me with five extra credit points. No harm done, only slaughtered readings of poetry. I carried around “Life’s Brief Candle” by William Shakespeare (an astounding 31 copies!), despite thinking that I wouldn’t use all of them. Unknowingly so, I traded them off for eighteen copies of poems. To my surprise, I saw my favorite one in the pile – “Because I could not stop for Death –” by Emily Dickinson. That was when SamanthaR. stopped me in my tracks for a copy of my poem to be exchanged with hers.

If I Can Stop One Heart From Breaking
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
- Emily Dickinson

I realized soon after that that there seemed to be a pattern amongst these English majors/minors. Students were nuts about Shel Silverstein. Honestly speaking, I have never heard of him before, but friends informed me that he was considered to be one of the coolest poets around and most of them had surrounded their childhood reading his works.

“Never grew tired of Silverstein. Never!” JoshA. slide a copy of his poem to his right where I comfortably sat unperturbed.

“Teddy said it was a hat, so I put it
on. Now dad is saying, “where the
heck’s the toilet plunger gone?”
- Shel Silverstein

I read “Sick” and “Rain” from two girls later. The dude’s imagination is the real deal! What turn out to be a “childish” day, really lived up to be “enlightening”! Now I’m officially a Silverstein fan!

Woulda-Coulda-Shoulda,
Vonnie S.

Q: Here's some Milk Duds from Apples to Apples!

What happened?! Assignments got the better of me and ultimately led to the negligence of this blog. Nothing big, it’s not really important that I spill my concerns out and certainly there are some days that I don’t even want to remember. Thus, erasing them just equates to a would-be-banal blog post. This I shall avoid, saving your sighs for other more important things like car samans and screamy kids. Awesome.

Today is an exception. I finished Jhumpa Lahiri’s The Namesake. Then a three-page analysis of the book and a four-page explication paper on Dickinson’s and Szymborska’s poem will be completed before midnight. Productivity worth bragging rights? Believe it. If I could just take a pail of paint and go blotting on RyanA’s bland white wall with my hands, I would. Just to get away from non-productivity.

Then for the last fifteen minutes I have been staring at my birthmark. A darker shade of brown on my outer right calf. That little marking had once been subjected to quite an attention, people who can’t help noticing how “fair” my legs are compared to my arms, might not pass up the less-than-perfect isosceles triangle birthmark. Comments are modest, but I didn’t care about them. I mean I should show them the square on my right wrist instead. That should give them more things to talk about.

Then I thought about my mother. She has a huge dark birthmark covering half of her face and that didn’t shake her much to be upset over crude stares and often than not, snide remarks when she was a teenager. For heaven’s sake, she’s one heck of a person. Just that her kids don’t like the judgmental attitudes people place upon meeting her in person. Trust me, my brother nearly bashed up a boy for the uninvited jokes. It’s funny that her birthmark never bothered me one bit. In honesty, I'd be blunt to say that I would adamantly disagree should my mother ever suggest removing it. No, it’s a special thing, so it’ll stay. Frankly speaking, it’s all because of that isosceles triangle that I learn to relate to her. Segi tiga sama kaki is same leg triangle, if that makes sense to you.

I'll stop at here for now. Too many minutes had gone to this post. That reminds me, my researcher wants me to work on more videos next week.

Seven bucks please,
Vonnie S.

Q: Don't just assume we're some charity house.

Spending three hours on Skype with mom was therapeutic. Gossiping with her heal every anxiety that threatened to send me to a corner crying. Not the one with the tears, but the action of contemplating to actually cry. I’m not for once a good actor, so I wouldn’t consider doing anything of that sort. It’s just too much of a hassle; once the banks break, I have to think of ways to irrigate it and then to patch the overflow. Ma fan.

Had an excellent serving of conversation sandwiches that followed after the maternal appetizer. PeiLi who was somehow always fascinated by my “quirky” facess and “oddball” stories, came knocking with a “yo!” That’s how you know whether it’s PeiLi you’re talking to. She begins a conversation with “yo”, casual yet a sign of familiarity, you know you’re her buddy. We had a little talk that led to multiple hashing of topics strewn out because of the bad internet line. Strangely I had not feel irritated at all from this, merely amused at how PeiLi giggled over the lack of articulation when it comes to my replies. I swear, there was maybe more “HAH?” than “And then?” in that particular conversation. Like most meals, if you savor the moment on the lighter mood, then you’d have a good meal.

KaraS. brought her roommate over today for dinner. Menu was fried dumpling, ayam masak merah, and fishball soup. We had a ball talking away, simply because the girls were very excited about the weather. To me, it was just like back home, every other day. And then I realized I got readings due tomorrow and I have yet to start on them. GG.

Now talking to EeLeng. She’s working on her stuff as I would mine if it wasn’t for YouTube and Facebook. The procrastinating devil is upon me once too many times. But it’s not going to haunt me tonight for sure. Unfortunately for you, I’m a psycho major.

Super windy day,
Vonnie S.

Q: Horse tail whip you is like SM.

One heck of two weeks I must say. Had me panting up and down campus like an obedient slave, fighting against the Spring sun while braving against the Winter winds. No joke, I had little sleep and the exhaustion took a toll on my appetite and mood (been too quiet off late, people are starting to believe I jadi orang mute). Not the best thing once your instructor began asking if there's something bad going on in your life right now. GG.

Well, here's the deal. I'll put them all in list form for you to see. Save your lovely eyes the long paragraphs.

1) Went to FourWinds Casino for a buffet dinner. Costed like 30 bucks per adult ticket. But the food was awesome. You can imagine all-you-can-eat King crab. Now that's what we're talking about! I ordered an Arnold Palmer. Nice waitress made them chilly good. Kishaan failed to break his old record of four crabs. Stuffed turkey!

2) Was called back for research over the summer. Didn't intend to participate in any but the researcher I'm working with deemed that I was one of the better ones she has ever worked with. So I'm back in business baby! Glee~

3) Pissed at Sheta. Roommate is now officially an FFK Shan. Yes.

4) Finger got all better. It healed despite the petite scar. On the brighter note, no more plasters!

5) Made my Michigan ID and TIP (Temporary Driving Permit). Happy, but not quite because RyanA. didn't pass the writing exam. Had Lee's Chicken and then watched Battle LA and Paul.

6) Went with Nguyen to the Foreign Film Series. Was dying to watch The Namesake. Awesome movie. Found out that Ganguli is fun to say over and over again. The word rolls around the tongue like marbles.

7) Retrieved my Bak Kut Teh recipe at last. Dang wonderful to smell the aroma greeting the hungry attacks every night last week.

8) Had a scholarly conversation with a professor about Flannery O'Connor. Malu sikit for not reading all of her works. Extremely apologetic, but was told later by lecturer that I was "charming" and "entertaining". Complimento?

9) Knowing Zalikha got back to Malaysia safely is the best news of the month! Poor Japan though, may they recover and stand strong. Anime cannot pupus because of this.

10) Love my mom and dad for telling me that they are proud of me. That's why they are awesome. Teared up over their loving words. I'd die for them any day. I love you both so very much!

and many more,
Vonnie S.

E: International Festival 2011

We lost. For the first time in a while, we lost our top position. Perhaps it's for the better. We need to learn the agonizing rub of the salt on the wound after being too confident about it.

Saw PeiLing through her anxiety attack. I had to admit that it surprised me that a girl as robust could break down like that. Then again, it hit close to home. Alas, my sleeves were a slight booger coated and my arm scarred with nail markings.

I am under the weather as the rain pours heavily outside. Disappointed, so disappointed.

Thanks BegaT, for the little souvenir that will forever keep me away from green jelly. Not to mention, let known my high tolerance to pain. The numbing has finally passed and the sting is kicking in. GG.

Afraid,
Vonnie S.

Q: Enough of the depressing stuffs, let's go for a movie instead!

It is hard for a pencil and pen to get along; although we both know they are of essentially the same tools used for writing and doodling. Strange isn’t it? The world is like so, this madness it unfolds, what seemingly is common are distinct when compared. For example, [one] and [three] were perfectly punctual, as could be expected (but [two] changed time and [four] is drinking away in his own realm, [five] disappears without a trace and [six] was sick) and none of them were in any shape to meet. BS my own kinds lost me an hour on waiting. And even people that don’t run of the mill would know you do not do that many times. It’s disrespectful, and yes, I was utterly flipped, just walked away (my apologies to [one]).

Another example. No one knows this touch, affection, and infliction of pain, once let loose, can kill the creator of heaven and release the devil of dogs. It’s a go or no go game held by a thin fragile strand of horse hair between, the call comes from the other end. Like now, the waiter can’t see the sun shine, nor the stars in their cloud blankets because it pains to see, to realize that she’s just not into you.

Why does this happen? I don’t know.

Except I can only tell the waiter this: time is of the essence…and the incense. Walk away.

The incense is smoking,
The embers are glowing,
And the whole thing is crumbling away.

You're burning daylight and you must strive harder and further,
Even if you got the wrong [undesirable] end of the stick.

Tik tok,
Vonnie S.

Q: Only guys get orgasm mah not meh?!

Kumakee looks soooooo cool over here.

To the rescue,
Vonnie S.

Q: Half a million flying flamingoes spells pink skies. Here's a news flash: I hate pink.

Phew, just habis baca The Kite Runner. With this being my third time, this astounding book never ceased to amaze me. He teaches me that an author does not need bombastic words to produce great stories.

Bet you didn't know something about the book. Hm...only if you actually read the book.

On page 367, Amir to Sohrab:

"I read once that, in Malaysia, they use kites to catch fish," I said. "I'll bet you didn't know that. They tie a fishing line to it and fly it beyond the shallow waters, so it doesn't cast a shadow and scare the fish."

Ah, such a pleasant surprise.
Vonnie S.

Q: If you got locked out of your own apartment, it is no longer funny.

Why was ShetaT so happy today?

A. Because I made her Alfredo spaghetti.
B. Because she got some money.
C. Because no one came to our house.
D. Because she heard me flirting with someone.

If your choice was...

A. You’re right! Since it does make absolute sense. It's one of her favorite dishes conjured by mua. She’d eat that all day without complaints (minus the fact that she has a small bulge on her waist). Well, they did say “the way to the heart is through the stomach”.

B. Bull’s-eye! Except that she owes me a lot less now, which is a good thing, for I’m getting my dough back too. That girl earned some over the net. At least I don’t have to explain to papa where the money’s at before rollback kicks in.

C. Of course! She just hates to be around some noisy rascal that she thinks would go spread nonsensical rumors about her. The quieter the home, the less severe the paranoia. All is well.

D. Bingo! How did that happen…I have no idea. Period.

What if I say it's all of the above?

Happy thoughts,
Vonnie S.

Q: For you a thousand times over.

Lying belly down on RyanA's bed while munching Angel Wafer with my right hand and pinning The Kite Runner's pages with my left. ShetaT is singing her Chinese songs. RyanA DOTAing and PJ's Monster Huntering. How many more of these carefree days are left I wonder?

Hope this post will remind myself, of days spent without the need to be productive. Days that had me loving life for its simplicities. And that I have my parents to thank for.

Darlo jan, tashakor.
Vonnie S.

Q: Her horses can swim, but your airplanes can't fly.

Being in the same room with two emo-ing individuals is not good for the heart. But it is only to be expected of a Psychology major to provide some sort of consultation or solution to the dilemma in mind. Forgetting the fact that I was still “in-training”, I sat silently for a whole minute, staring at them both, careful not to step on a landmine that could possibly leave my “clients” either scarred for months or worse still, not gaining anything from this exchange. My main priority was to walk out from Apt A19 with a smile on the face knowing that the heavy mist surrounding them has lifted for good. The silence broken as she spoke first. Nice, now we’re getting somewhere.

[A partial love story, you guys like to call it “one-sided”. She’s been at it for a while, all of us, aware of this impossible relationship and of her endless pining for his attention. Wishful thinking, the girl wants to wait on miracles, believing that her efforts would pay off one day. Denial is hounding her willingness to let go, eventhough the guy had already rejected her advances quite some while ago.]

Sniffles can be heard and she reached for the tissue box. Shuffling in my seat, I immediately jumped into the REASONING mode. This story has been heard once too many times from her, and this I hope, is the last. 30 minutes later, she remained quiet; perhaps she was reluctantly trying to digest reality.

He smiled at my seemingly successful intervention and winked, as if to say, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, same time, and same place.” Returning the favor, I gestured to the girl, a sign to wish her a good night’s sleep. On the way out, I pat on his broad shoulders. ShetaT hovered at the stairs quizzically, and immediately I was showered with questions. Rumors remained unanswered.

How is my "client" doing now? She’s with her laptop singing the blues away. :)

Teddy Grahams to the rescue!
Vonnie S.

Q: If she's too gullible, she's not worth the trust. You've been there once.

Bastard of Istanbul is a gift amidst these mundane days. I have genius author Elif Shafak to thank for that. Bravo, I do miss Istanbul.

Of apple tea and Turkish Delight,
Vonnie S.

Q: What the hell is wrong with you?!

Woah, I had a bizarre dream last night. When I mean bizarre, it really was, because it kept me awake for a while and as I drifted back into sleep, the dream continued, almost as though it’s on Pause and Play mode.

Here I sat, swinging my legs over the roof, and looked down at the tiny cars below (presuming it’s Chicago or some metropolis). The air filled itself with continuous street noises that I don’t seem to mind (strange but true).

She came up behind me and stood at the edge, watching along. Her white dress fluttered in the light breeze. Neither of us lifted our heads from the streets. Her voice was soft and curious.

"What are you doing?"
"Nothing. Just watching."
"Don't you have somewhere to be?"
"No. Nowhere in particular."

Woke up. Walked to laptop and saw 3.45am on the clock. Went to the bathroom and washed my face. Need more sleep, headed back to bed.

I see her again. Yet (strangely) I was still there on the roof, staring at a yellow cab driving by. Then, I sighed.

"Up here, I feel significant like... like I can fly. Everything else looks small."
She nodded. "Don’t you want to fly?"
"Not really."
"But you can. You know."

I took a good look at her. She smiled warmly, even though we were strangers. But still, I stood up and observe the height from where I ought to jump, bringing myself closer to the edge.

I turned around to see that the girl was gone.

Then the alarm clock went off. Bizarre indeed.

Wonder if it's a sign?
Vonnie S.

Q: Pikuren HAHAHA

Check out my good boy! Ain't he looking stronger now?

A proud owner of Jetwave89,
Vonnie S.

Q: Why lidat?

It's Spring Break as this post continues to blot itself with words. Finished Guest of the Shiek yesterday night while engaging in a series of Sequence battle with RyanA and PhilipY till 2am. The book is an excellent window to the Shiite Islamic lifestyle, on the contrary, the game is an evident casement to the jobless Asian lifestyle. Both of them I enjoyed very much, proving that the much neglected multi-tasking ability comes handy at times such as this one. I killed two birds with one stone. Onward to the Bastard of Istanbul!

While I may sound like I am down with the same ol’ demanding humdrum of a student’s life, pacing is pretty lax this week. Taking care to rest as much, get some gears oiled before returning to campus on a high note. Not to mention, Spring Break is nothing but a teaser to Summer, somewhat relating to seeing skirts fly when the wind blows, when there's no plan. With the hype gone, you’re back to being bored at home. Wait, I got the company of assignments and the rather “lovely” if often not, out-of-tune singing of my roommate.

Managed Romance D’Amour and am planning pick up When You Tell Me that You Love Me from where I left off. Time really can dash forward, leaving you behind. I can really use a good stallion to chase it. Overkill, since I think shooting the Procrastination Devil with an AK-47 outta be a far better choice, for there’s always a possibility of falling off the horse.

KatieR’s movie invitation was a pleasant surprise. Girl wants to watch Black Swan. *twitch twitch* LanceT chicken out on this one, don't he know there’s always the popcorn for comfort in case of uncanny scenes. *sigh*

Shout out to HeidiS for giving me The Time Traveler’s Wife. She gets The Life of Pi!

End of February means it's time to pay rent again...

You know I'm awesome,
Vonnie S.

Q: P/s, it's a bloody PS.

Spring Break is here! Or so I thought. I'm disappointed right now because I just realized I’ve got office hours on Fridays. In an awkward way, it’s not holiday for me yet. Plus, Nguyen just dropped by to laugh about it. Oh well, I’m not planning anything for this break; just kicking back and relax, do loads of reading and playing with the boys. It’s been a long day today; but I’d probably get into the action later playing FF9 again. Or perhaps, record myself playing the guitar since someone requested for it. Eek…I dread doing that simply because the sound quality is almost always not up to my expectation, but RyanA’s new secret weapon is going to change that.

Felt terrible for FFK-ing Franny. T-T She waited at Bernhard for an hour. The hell’s wrong with me…

And lately, JennyT has been around my place to talk a lot about herself and her problems. I think Mt. Kilimanjaro is nothing compared to her stories. Wow, not knowing her that much, I’d say, I was honored to be her listener. Though it pains me to stay quiet for so long, nonetheless, the habit is returning and suddenly it’s not a problem at all. Met two new Sunway students too. Them girls sound nice, which is good news cos we hit the highroad instantly, chatting away about almost everything. Guess what, they’re staying directly opposite of my apartment. Damn lol.

Give her the benefit of doubt. It’s helping me get thru the day without fidgeting too often.

Enthu bastard,
Vonnie S.

Q: Everybody has a not-so-nice part of them...that's what makes us human.

So when the English rapper said "Sing!" I was staring at the video. GG. Reminded me of my english lecturer. The heck...

Fyuu~ Ning Baizura's geng as ever. Is that Yasmin Ahmad? Bless her soul.

Here in My Home,
Vonnie S.

Q: I can't help them if they don't want to help themselves...so, it's zero for now.

Chilaka, why do you even need the damn wand to rebuild your Faerieland?! That thing cost me 70k neopoints. Scratch that, beats having to buy the paint brush or potion any day.

Time for Jetwave89 to get a makeover!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Poor Potter asks;
"Why do you still help that person, if he/she has hurt you many times or you know they are those type who take you for granted and only seek for you when they need your help... ? WHY? WHY!"

Let's just say reality is so for those who are genuinely kind in the heart. God forbid if you're in love, you get all the more blinded by the fact that he or she just finds you when you're of value. You want to be involved because somehow you're doing it out of mere kindness, or because cliched speaking, seeing him or her smile is enough to keep you motivated to help. Sad truth is that the majority of friends out there only seeks people when they want something. Lose that value, you lose that friendship (forgotten, ignored and left to dust). It's an indeed WTF situation, that's why you have to learn to say NO. Powerful word, but yes, NO is the way to go, my friend.

What color?!
Vonnie S.

Q: You kena bukak kedai again...

Ernest Hemingway, as much as I love your works...writing an analysis on your masterpiece under three pages is a pain in the head. Swirly swirly...and it's bloody snowing again. Awesome...

Someone call the cops!! We got a procrastinator in the house!

But but...Minami-ke Okaeri last episode wor...

Shit....sekarang ada orang cari I pulak. APA NIH!!! SHETA TEEEEHHHH!!

Helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllo,
Jellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllo.

Q: Help me watch my sugar intake, don't think it's gonna work at all.

Last night, I reluctantly made the decision to give Australia girl a call. It was a spur of the moment realization kind of thing; a mistake for snubbing this extremely delicate situation too long under covers. I tried to mend, to abscond, and to completely deny her presence. For a while, it seemed to work; but with no proper treatment, consequences were bound to materialize and before you know it, it became too late. What can I say; it was also downright immoral and atrocious (at least that’s what I believe I wouldn’t want that happening to me should I be in her shoes). I don’t want to be a conniving jackass weasel who “cheats little kids”. Plus, with things just remaining stagnantly convoluted over these two years; I did want her to progress forward and to forget. Which…brought me to this particularly difficult conversation. Yes…when I mean difficult; imagine having to balance a watermelon on the tip of your nose without ever breaking it. Hard isn’t it? The awkwardness that was long gone, resurfaced again, threatening to disregard reasoning and for me to just end the call (blaming it all on cowardice and sheer empathy).

Let’s just say, the result was a disaster for not going according to my plan. The execution was utter rubbish. I was aware that my speech and explanations were hurting her and this should be uncalled for. This is why I hate confrontation, it tears you apart. What’s harder is knowing that you’re the cause of the predicament. Once again, I made someone cry.

Com'on, give us Snow Day already....

Beats me,
Vonnie S.

Q: Dogs worship me and cats ignore me, welcome to my life!

So, he called me in the middle of the night, asking whether he was worth my time, worth my friendship and care. And that he found himself to be a hindrance than help. With that in mind, I remembered the quote he dedicated to me five years ago. Bro, this goes back to you. :)

Flatter me, and I may not believe you.
Criticize me, and I may not like you.
Ignore me, and I may not forgive you.
Encourage me, and I will not forget you.
Love me and I may be forced to love you.

~William Arthur Ward

We're family now, so don't ever ever say you're useless again. Only I can make that call. XD

P/s: Hoh...and did I mentioned that today's one really EFF-ed up day. @#$&% give me my 2 hours back!!

Missing you too bugger,
Vonnie S.

Q: I WANT DDAT OWL

Working on a research paper right now. Three articles (seemingly very long ones) of gender roles in Iraq. The procrastination devil…its presence is strong. Then the growling of the stomach confirmed it. But then, I’m almost done with the paper. Just a snip of here and there for reference left to do. I would swear contentment tonight if my baked basil chicken satiates this impish appetite for nourishment.

This is why I say she’s brilliant. Always getting me at the right time, brilliant Tsing appeared on Skype pestering me to head to the Google Translation. Seriously, that website is of no help at all, so I figured, it has got to be something amusing for this girl to get dang hyper over. And then she said, “translate agar from malay to English.” Okay, her enthusiasm prepared me for the droll. Go do that yourself to find out why I LOL-ed, loud enough to get my roommate’s attention.
,___,
(6v6) GG…used up 30 minutes for this. Appreciate it woman!
(_^(_\
=" " \\=

And so, she is heading to the photocopy shop and I’ll probably makan before heading down for Wit & Wagers. Adoi, banyaklah kerja untuk orang popular cham I nih…

A1,
Vonnie S.

Q: You're the only Malaysian whom I see awake at this time of the day. The rest are hung-over.

No Dev. That's because you're not waking up early enough. The afternoon sun was a blessing in disguise as I marched sloppily through the muddy path towards the bus stop. Look at that dirt sticking to my Nike, lucky thing I’ve got my Puma on standby. He’s not ready for the mud pies though. Cats don’t like sticky stuff, and they don’t like the wind either. As much as I rejoice the arrival of Spring and the quick melting away of the snow, I hate the Michigan winds. I must agree with Dev, it felt like we were walking on air today, not because of the Nike Air, no.

JessicaR did not attend office hours today for whatever reason. Without my partner around, the space was a little tranquil, except that you could hear the occasional typing of the keyboard by the advisor. I contently dug into my reading, Guests of the Sheik. Just as I flipped to page 3, two people walked in; one wanted to see the exams and the other wanted tutoring. Company alas! Can’t comment much on it, but the kid spent 15 minutes complaining about a certain lecturer and all I could offer was a nod. The kid mentioned something really odd about his brothers spending months in Hawaii. Then he asked, “Are you from Hawaii?” I was speechless beyond belief.

Talked to PeiShi about her love life while we dine at Bigelows. Girl’s done a lot of thinking despite what the rumors said about her. Well, at least she’s honest about it.

Went for the Ehoumaki Event at Kanley Chapel. Twas fun seeing Cat, Benito, AdrianT, PeiLing, and JennyT there. ShetaT arrived late and to my disappointment, she didn’t bring the Malaysian flag. It was meant to be a prank anyway. Dang sushi were long, but taste wise, I liked mine a thousand times better. My hand still has the wasabi fragrance to it. T-T

Chatted with EeLeng about GRE. She’s awesome. I should say very helpful and generous when it comes to advices. No wonder ShetaT’s in love with this lady. Salute. After all that gossiping, she promised me a movie too. Muahahaha! Can’t get any better than this.

RyanA’s calling me downstairs for a game of Cranium. Time to kick some butts!

Chow time,
Vonnie S.

Q: Don't give a dang about nobody girl~~

Interestingly, I find my American friends are great simply because they don't give me problems. The few that I’ve been hanging out lately never even did anything that I would frown upon. Well…save for cussing. But being college students, who can resist that temptation? The ones that are problematic are the Malaysian people here. While some are completely off the top "terrer" for remaining the same (or mature) after all semester in Kzoo, some just fell through big time. Either the freedom thingy is too good to be true, or that they are simply ignorant of their compulsive behavior. Sometimes I wish I can tell them to pull their act together, then again, I should just MYOB, save me from the many things I already have working at hand.

That’s why I no longer go on MSN, and rarely on Skype. I’ve got on my backs, stalkers. Seriously, they know what exactly I did, and where I’ve been. Shit stuff. This is what lil innocent Kalamazoo does to people, it changes them. Freaky…

Speak of the devil.

Logs off,
Vonnie S.

Q: You must feel odd for being singled out in class, huh?

Dang, Men in the Sun is friggin touching for a short story collection. Subtle, yet strong. When I got done with the book, I researched a little about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and how should I put it into words, speechless. Every nation in every conflict likes to think it is just, that it is the victim, and that all the blame - and all the effort - lies on the other side. Pride is as much a hindrance to the peace process as hatred or ignorance. I'm not pro of either side, but pro of them both. They want what we all want: a place to call home, to live in peace and have a family. People always notice that they share a deep-seated mistrust and hatred for each other. But in reality, most of them share this same human desire to be left alone to live in peace. It's high time this conflict get a balanced, pragmatic view.

In fact I've been to Egypt, Qatar and Turkey in the last couple of years and I fell in love with these countries. Not just because of their untouch historical artefacts and beautiful landscape, but because of the warm people (unfortunately ridden by the waste of poverty). The way religion are politicized these days really do not do much justice to what they in fact are.

My religion? Makan, Main, Tidur.

For the greater good of peace,
Vonnie S.
Palestinian kid courtesy of natalia777

Q: Excellent answers, Yee. Where did you get that from?

Playing it cool right now, chatting with her. See how much she can pull off this act to explain the incident. Watching closely with a PB sandwich in my mouth, I don't know why I even bother to put up with this. Probably, it is because I'm too benevolent (for I am specifically doing this on behalf of someone); or perhaps I am too inquisitive about my friends. The latter does make sense sometimes, I need to know who I can place my trust upon. Tough nugget. Maybe that isn’t the issue at all; then I really wouldn’t know what to believe in anymore.

Too free,
Vonnie S.

S: Best love letter ever! Thank you, XOXO

Just so you know, my eye's healed after a 45 minutes nap. I'm particularly estatic after reading them love letters. Thank you, it's not easy to write them and yet I can't help but chuckle a lil over every one them. But one had me applauding (blushing perhaps) for the amourous language.

With the permission of the author.......

Dear YSYW,

I can no longer refrain from expressing to you my deep and undying love. It seems so ridiculous, we know each other and yet hardly, but never in the history of humankind has a better match existed. You, a voracious reader of books, and I, a humble environmentalist with a hunger and desire to share my life with you. How often I imagine your loving gaze as you watch me play the piano, or your soft caress as you turn the pages of a book you cannot put down.

Please know that this is no whim of fancy but a sincere desire of the heart that is nearly indescribable. Since the day you lovingly pen me my first letter, I have kept it indelibly inscribed in the heart, never to be shared, as the thought of any other having it nearly kills me with jealousy. Just know that I think of it often and desire your love in return.

And now my affection can no longer be contained. I want to shout from the rooftops: "I love us, and cheers to our many years more together."

I know you cannot deny the chemistry between us. I can feel you thinking fondly of me, now, as I am constantly thinking of you. Please don't delay in giving me that call you promised, as I fear my heart may explode in the agony of your absence. My fondness for you, if it can be believed, is even deeper now at the end of this letter than it was when I began.

Until I see you again...

Be mine,
XOXO

Q: Why didn't they knock?

My eyes burn with a fleeting intensity as I squinted at the projector screen, trying to make sense of Miss C’s thesis on the southern society in 1904 (realize that I self-proclaimed the date, don’t mind me, bad day). Then it hit me, I thought, this was terrible! The words were a blur and the lengthy sentences did not seem to parallel right as much as I expected them to be. Lo and behold, failing eyesight. And so, Little Miss Sunshine called and I tried to countercheck with her, reassuring that this situation (I was having) would just be a temporary phase.

She said (with gusto), “AHAH! What dya do last night?! I didn’t even call you or anything of that sort?” Walking into Wood, I denied ever doing anything except trying to sleep, well maybe I was also thinking about stuff. “Stuff, I see…” She wasn’t convinced at all. “If you could meet me at Bigelow later, we can talk over lunch about culture shock. It would help me with my thesis. I’ll get that eye working again. Stay away from computers!” I said okay, but the later hour was spent on data entry. Again that pain returned, but I was still seeing numbers. That’s a good thing, right?

Went to class and I bumped into EeLeng ranting away about Grad School. Insane, I couldn’t focus on a word she was saying. Then MindyN slide into our conversation and I had to wave EeLeng away. Lucky thing, my GSI was being really hyper and had me laughing on a couple of times that I forgotten about the pain.

“It’s effing Valentine’s and I ain’t got a date. Eff this!” DanG (I know, this looks funny, Dang) and Lil MS were squabbling at Bigelow. I wished the two would go out together, instead of making a huge fuss about partying for the singles or what not. Throughout the entire time, we didn’t talk an inch about culture shock, but I left the place with a satiated stomach and a throbbing eye.

I can see fine, just as I was typing this blog post. Sindecuse might have some good explanation for this, should I be able to get up early tomorrow. Forget about going on a date, I need to finish reading and begin working on my essay. Someone is texting me like crazy tho. Rough.

After all this, ShetaT walked in with a cunning smile and her forehead read, “I WANT MY VALENTINE’S CHOCOLATE (I EXPECTED ONE TO BE PREPARED, BECAUSE YOU’RE YVONNE SING).” Russell Stover to the rescue! Grinning like a six year old, she said, “Von2, did you plan anything for us tonight?” Fortunately, “NO,” since someone wanted me to remain abstinence while that someone is away for now and would return someday to collect all the stacked gohoubi overtime and it would be an overkill if that someone finds out that ShetaT is trying to rob me off a date before that someone gets any and that would be bad news, such a thing I choose to avoid just in case I don’t end up with another miserable day and a painful eye, except this time, it’d be a black eye. Darling can be ganas if darling chooses to be. O.3

Ending my day by reading six love letters, munching on banana cake, eating chocolates, and sleeping. Insyaallah, tomorrow is gonna be a better day.

So much for Valentine's Day,
Vonnie S.

E: Happy Valentine's Day 2011!

Valentine's Day has been known for decades to be intoxicatingly lovely with couples strolling into opportunistic fancy restaurants, and perhaps you’ll see some of stragglers scurrying into crafty gift shops, taking out those Benjamins for heart-melting delights in forms of chocolate (milk, dark, vodka, mint, you name it), teddy bears, cards and condoms? Ain’t it sweet, this ardor celebration bringing out happiness in many, expressing affection to significant others and their sweet darlings.

Well, that would be so, if you’re not at the other end of the stick.

Also known as the Singles' Awareness Day, imagine (if you’re already not) you’re a singleton, this day would be a nagging reminder of the fact that you can’t seem to find the right one, living this day like it’s just another, nothing particularly exciting about it. In fact, prices for eating out become horrendous, worse still, if red or pink ain’t your color, V-day simply sucks bad. But hey, on the bright side, singleton friends associate with you and together, throw a party indoors, eat Papa John’s, downing Bacardi, then laughing and cursing at whim. Sounds fun either way, no?

So, here’s a shout out to my Valentines (yes, it’s plural and no, they’re real humans):

One bites my hands in frustration, a sign of affection,
Two doesn’t give a damn about rules, only direction,
Three’s the bubbliest anime fan, with love for dollars,

Four nags a lot, truly, a living Chinese Han scholar,
Five loves shoes and *inserting* sarcasms, who’s to be blame,
Six hears crickets (no more) and forever a small blood vein,
Seven is my loyal watcher, who adores simple things,
Eight’s falancha makes poking fun much more reinforcing.

Topping it off, my family remains the best of them all,
Friends, my closest buddies, kakilang, you, short and tall,

No tricks, discounts or heart breaks, and forever true I'd stay,

So here's "I Love You" and have a Happy Valentine's Day!

Hat's off,

Vonnie S.

Q: Dude, did you hit your head on the way here?

English class had me speaking in my most broken Mandarin ever! A record sailing of craps and what not, Chin Yan Leng would be soooo proud! Hm...I can't really pretend I don't know how to speak the dang language, just cos people's got expectations, plus my group's class participation points depended on it. No prob! I'd got this game in the bag, tossed and ready to go. Attempted Sui Sin Far's In the Land of the Free, translating every English dialogue to Mandarin simply fried my brains badly that I ended up chuckling halfway through the five-page vignette.

I could tell fellow classmates were O.O ing. Couldn’t help it that I sucked that badly. But, I got a reassuring pat on the back by HeidiS. which was encouraging as they too, laughed at my antics. (People really didn’t realize that I fumbled my way thru, then again, they don’t understand a word I was saying. Score!) Then I confessed, my English is indeed a lot better compared to my Mandarin. Just what I need to put in my resume should I want to be honest to potential employers.

"That was really interesting, YW! Great job!"
“Hey, I’m no American! SO it was only to be expected?”
“Haha! I couldn’t agree more. We’re lucky to have you in this class. Say, which is better? Your English or Chinese? Surely America did a whole lot of good for your English.”
“Erm…no. My English was almost always better than my Chinese.”
“HAHAHA! No kidding!” *slaps my shoulders*

OMG…my lecturer is not buying it!
Vonnie Sing

Q: If you ever love somebody, put your hands up!

After so many years together, I learn who my friends really are. When you eventually arrive to that point where vile words won't harm, threats won't break that bond, nor doubts won’t question trust; that is probably the best reward I’ll ever have and ever want.

Even a Hi! on Facebook or Skype is good enough to make me happy and I see rainbows in everything. It is so strange that should I have a day off, not hearing from either of them, something feels missing. PL being the most dedicated at her role, sending me off to school and I watch her sleep almost every day. Haha^^

To just have people that I care around, to have people that care for me, and with that, I want to give them everything I have.

No longer a dream,
Vonnie Sing

Q: Nice! You're tailgating really closely...if only you're one of our participant!

Gambled with PJ and RyanA till 2.30am in the morning.
Woke JennyT up at 9.00am before she was late for the bus.
Finished Minami-ke Season 1 and was munching on tangerines.
Worked on Memed, My Hawk: Position Paper. Two insightful pages.
PSY1000 was on Classical Conditioning. Hello again, Ivan Pavlov!
Saw ChrisB as I left Chemistry Building, got punched in the arm.
I talked about culture differences and Chinese New Year in my class.
We research assistants had fun driving the car simulator today.
Completed TVFs and weekly reminders for the GRE students.
Heading to campus soon for MASA meeting at 8.30pm.
Year of the Rabbit seems to have brilliant things in store for me.

Busy, busy, busy...
Vonnie Sing

Q: Eh, you one person use four cups kah?!

I was browsing thru a GRE book (for the class I'm TA-ing) and came across this:

Friendship, no matter how intimate, has its boundaries; unsolicited advice, when thrust insistently upon one, is rarely an act of friendship, regardless of the adviser's intent.

Nicely said!

Vonnie Sing

Q: So do you know where Armenia is?

JessicaR sat right opposite, in complete complacent as she held a Chemistry lab manual tightly in her hands. That little light of determination in her eyes faded out as she flipped it open, exposing pages after pages of decorous words. The sophomore let out a sigh, for she had come to recognize the complexities of chemical bonds and the unyielding temptation to procrastinate. The quartz watch clinging to her wrist was ticking away, in a beat that reminded her of seconds lost while she stared blankly at the procedure section. The words became a dull blur as though the book had been presoaked with rainwater and the inks smeared across the content. And also, JessicaR was agreeing with her brown eyes--that sleep was more of a necessity this time of the day.

Breaking the silence of the office, she asked her friend: Are you from China?

GGness,
Vonnie S.

Q: I keep seeing you everywhere! What are you...a poltergeist?!

Am keeping in touch with my blog.
Am keeping in touch with my books.
Am keeping in touch with my songs.
Am keeping in touch with my friends.
Am keeping in touch with my "pets".
Am keeping in touch with my family.
Am keeping in touch with myself.

Someone new has found this blog.

Vonnie Sing

Q: I ran the red light today HAHAHA

Why study psychology? Why bother oneself with troubled people?

Well...

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

Twas the opening line of Tolstroy's Anna Karenina.

And that is why it is all the more interesting, a puzzle waiting to be mended. Not only families, but it is because they are people, in fact, weighted on by one's own unhappiness. You help line the Domino tiles and they all form a beautiful effect, then I'd be satisfied with the results of being able to change people's lives.

If so, there may be a hundred unhappy people out there, I want to be someone who is able to provide a hundred solutions to their problems.

掘っとけないな感じ。

Vonnie Sing

Q: Sometimes I just don't want to hurt people.

And for some reason, that modest heart is ruthlessly burning as though it was insignificantly doused with oil and tossed into fiery charcoal. There is hardly a word that can illustrate the agony. It simply hurts bad enough for one to begin seeing menacing witches dancing while one lays an unsound sleep enveloped by darkness.

Vonnie Sing

Q: I am tired, so tired.

My pain is that my eyes and ears
no longer see and hear the same
as yours do. Your eyes have changed.
It has grown distant, like
a starving dog too weak to eat
or a doe caught in a trap wincing for help,
or death. Who will be kind to them?

You are crying. You never cried before.
It’s not like you to do that.
Why are you damned to perish,
while I to wander on alone?
Is this the way it is with friends?

But hey, I want you to know.
You fell from the Heavens as a sign
-- too heavy and unknown.
I tried to lift and drive you away
only to fail miserably on my account.

As a companion, my equal in strength,
loyal to friends who will not forsake,
and whom I never wish to leave. Now
I sat hushed as your eyes stilled.
In silence, I reached out to touch
a friend whom had been lost for good.

------------------------------------------
Wow, it's been a while since I last wrote poetry. Never has been my kinda thing, but free time at the SOC allowed me to fiddle with any leftover thoughts. This one was particularly therapeutic.

Vonnie Sing

Q: I dun think this album would be a hit XD

From Facebook, you shall witness a number of fanatical albums that do not exist in music shops, nor can you find them in bargain shelves. Only for a while, it makes us laugh as we try to make a shot at fame as a band.

Vonnie S.

YanLeng

WayneL

Tsing

Steph

ScottS

RyanA

PeiLi

PJ

LaiMun

KatieR

And to the one who began this frenzy chain amongst our friends,
AshleyB

Rock On!
Vonnie S.

Q: Its a waste of spicyness, flavor without spice, no kick.

Someday when I am super free, I should make this nasty stuff. I bet my roommate would want it bad. (She loves alcohol, what to do.) But Grasshopper is a rather simple after dinner drink, I can still remember it way back when ktsiong likes taking people to fashionable bars. So as long as the volume is small, it is rather enjoyable for those who likes mint flavor. Take it like dessert.

Stir in Starbucks coffee and you'd get Brown Grasshopper and it should probably taste as good too. Okay then, pousse-cafe style it is!

We've got the shaker but no ingredients! Dang it!

No ice,
Vonnie S.