Q: It's Lee Harvey Oswald, you dork!

To sum it nicely in words,

Saturday = Outlet shopping and Four Winds Casino buffet.
Sunday = Birthday bash at The Musketeers'.

Four birthday cakes this year, that's certainly a record breaker! Goodness, what did I do to deserve this treatment? Thank you, thank you, thank you, and thank you. Sweet, I won Dicescapades with my eyes closed. Just pure awesomeness!

Don't push it child,

Vonnie S.

E: Happy Birthday to Me!

Man, it's already 22 years? Time really flies, and when I say it flies, our bird has spread its wings because it doesn't crawl like it used to. I was trying to keep up with the years, taking it slow but I believe with the coming of every Sept 21, it's an incessant reminder that I have one less year on earth. While it may sound severely depressing, I assure you it's rather on the contrary. (I kid you not!) In fact, I'm content, frequently looking on the brighter side of this situation. Look, if age didn't go countdown style, would I have appreciated the people around me more often than I already not? Would I have not at least, try to enjoy every second like it's my last? No cliche intended.

I digress. You're probably not here to listen to emo stuff, but of course, it's all shooo last year. Sure, that's why I will be sharing something else for 2011. This particular thought is dear to me, private mushy stuff, you get the drill, so kindly bear with the birthday girl. :) Every year, my birthday candles are blown after I made a wish. And every year until I was seventeen, I always wanted something and strangely (whether it's believable or not) I - like every child you know - would reserve this wish for a birthday or Christmas. You get only one shot at what you want. Daddy always reminded me to "be careful with what [I] wish for".

However, at eighteen, I had lost the ability to want, and I still remember quite clearly on one 19th, how I pondered about it. This inability troubled me so much that I had refused sleep. It surprised my teenage self how dauntingly haunting this can be, so much so that by the end of the ordeal, I figured I may as well hope for world peace. After all, my wishes did came true 90% of the time. (The ten percent being having wished hard for a horse...that's physically impossible.)

Then on the eve, I received a call from good ol' MelC. Our dear friend called to wish me in advance, and as usual, I get a slice of her daily troubles plaguing her cheerful self. It was but spontaneous, I made a wish that year, my wish for MelC's happiness. Then it got real, for every birthday cake I blow out, I'd wish for someone in my life. And as though it's coincidentally so, the years after that had me blowing away candles on two cakes at a time. I swear on my horse plush collection, it's true. Today was no different.

I had a surprise from my Kzoo friends. Yes, I was honestly surprised by their presence, but I knew something was coming, judging by RyanA's weird antics. Haha^^ But it's commendable tho, how they all took their time to celebrate it for me. As always, I am forever deeply indebted to these kind souls. Lo and behold, two cakes (made by TraceyT. and CatherineK.) showed up. If that wasn't a coincidence enough, I don't know what gives, man. I smiled, already knowing who I had in mind for this year. Let's just say, one is for a big brother I never had (wishing so that RyanA. may be emo-less) and the other for my SaiYi (hoping so, she will be strong enough to finish Master's).

Someone told me once upon a time that, "only a life lived for others is worth living", no?

22, you have yet to disappoint me.

Vonnie S.

Q: My Very Precious Friend

This is overwhelming. Like those bubbles trying to break surface, I am but the thin layer of water resisting them, refusing to allow deterioration to what it already is. Then to put on a weak fight, I believe I was losing it, nevertheless taking it as though it naturally ought to happen. To watch others made the kill, I stood there still panting as the deer pranced further away into the thick woods. I gripped harder, and let the rain wash all there is left of the animal's trace. With each teardrops sinking into the earth, hardly forgivable for even hope seems to diminish at every second of my existence. Not being able to comprehend this ephemeral moment, I laughed. Laughed hard like there was no one around to watch me, laughed long like the continual rain outside, laughed significantly enough to make me forget what's damaged and in the end, I recreate those bubbles again. My Coke, still gassy from lunch, is sugary as ever.

Quite the melancholy,

Vonnie S.

Q: Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure, if I knew you were missing me too.

I needed to get away from civilization and JamesK. was the answer to that frustration. Beruang (yes, that’s what we call him) is a super duper Malaysian senior here in Kzoo. This bubbly Indian got me heading into the woods for some mountain biking. I missed nature (all those camping days) and jumped at the opportunity. Timing was great too, a Sunday evening at Gulf. Why not take the time off to reconcile with nature? What can I say, it’s been a tad bit too long since I’ve worked these kitties and they whine every time I push them hard over the slopes. A word of advice and reminder for mua: Do stretching before embarking on rigorous activities involving your body. You do not build stamina over one hour.

Yet another super senior, SudeshW. was with us too. He was thoughtful enough to have brought a water bottle for me (claiming that if I use mine, it would be dirty by the end of the ride). Now, I didn’t have my very own bike and here, JamesK. came geared with every biking supplies you need. Quickly Beruang propped me into the snazziest looking combination of mountain biking accessories. A green helmet, cool shades, and the bike itself! After coating myself with a good layer of bug spray, we were off!

Truth to be told, the ride was awesome. No joke, it was taxing but fun, cos with every turn, you see different sceneries. Takes you out from the city and other related tasks at hand. Only disappointment was that we couldn’t see any wildlife. *sigh* Perhaps next time, when I hit around Eagles Lake. Beruang stayed with me while we sat by the lake watching the sunset for a break. He started talking about his late wife, how he would pick wild flowers for her or go kayaking with her to the big ass tree with an eagles nest in it. For the first time in a while, I teared up in front of another person; I couldn’t help it since he looked forlorn as he spoke so lovingly about her. Somehow you ended up wishing someday you will have the experience to love a significant other as deeply as he did. I made him promise not to talk about our lil secret. Haha! By the end of the six mile trail, I got out with several mosquito bites and some scratches on the mud covered leg.

Sudesh? He finished a good 40 minutes earlier than we did, so he extended his trail for another 2 miles. Let’s just say everyone pancited by the end of the day. And I, had a good night’s sleep and sore body the next morning.

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. ~Claudia Ghandi

Missing you,
Vonnie S.

Q: To liquify put in warm water.

Need I elaborate? This game is for the win!

Played it at AnP's today. 11 songs straight with an average of 95% in total.

Nei ge bei gor hou chi hiong jiu kam qiong.
Vonnie S.

Q: God is super pissed!

Man, where do I even begin today? A lot has happened over these couple of months; I wouldn’t be able to summarize them all in a short post. So let’s just narrow down these chunks of history and filter in the more significant points, and I leave you to wonder about the rest.

My roommate is moving out for real. While I ought to jump on my couch gleefully raising my hands up to the skies crying “Hallelujah, thank you for answering my prayers!” there’s always a flip side to every thing. I realized for the first time in a while, that I am actually aware of what I want to do, instead of rolling with the flowing. I had plans, drafted them out in my sleep and had them haunting, having doubts on people most of the time and now finally, I have the ultimatum – if that ain’t wonderful news, I don’t know what is! RanchA. is right. Why the eff should you give a dayum about what people has to say? They aren’t the one paying for the food on your table, or the one buying the house sheltering you from a raging storm. (Well, yes, it’s raining pretty hard right now over here.) So yea, if you need me to convince you that I’m right, you obviously don’t know me. With that said and done, a good friend would give the benefit of doubt, and trust them; not wavering over blatant rumors, deliberately painted out to form accusation. Period.

Say, I hadn’t really touched on my practical training at all in my writings. Well, maybe just a lil but to be perfectly safe from unwarranted attention, I would talk about this in the minimal-est extent. Let’s just put it this way. “Giraffe”, “monkey”, “elephant”, “car”, “ball”, “fish” and “uh-oh” are like the most awesomest words. Hi5 and clapping hands are extras but help in increasing behavior momentum. Wagon rides, pop-up toys, killer whales, and count books are the coolest reinforcers. “Sit quiet” if she decides to stand on the chair (frequently) and “gogogo” for a game of tag. Nais, ktsiong thinks I’m a “pedophile”.

New laptop! Interestingly after much pondering and advocating for Asus, alas I decided to get an HP. Why? Because there’s a good deal on the laptop; cheap with great specs. Plus, I can always change to another one after five years. So there you have it, I would be getting a new HP Pavilion and an XBOX console to boot. See what I mean by “good deal”?

This was written after a 2am hair wash and having to wake up at 7am with the rain pouring from the heavens. Samui~

Yare yare,
Vonnie S.

Q: A little story of the Old...

Sometime into my dream yesterday night took me down the vista of years till I see a younger me, clinging onto my eldest aunt walking along the streets of Old Seremban. Like a baby koala, whose mom and dad were honeymooning Down-Under, it must have felt awful being misplaced. However, that’s the idea of a honeymoon; three people don’t fit nicely together in that term box. They had to find someone to house the fledgling for eleven days. “No fear”, yi ma gleefully exclaimed, “she’ll be as healthy as a young bamboo shoot when you love-birds return.” I was expectedly flabbergasted, and so I cried like a busted water hydrant for a day. It finally stopped after late Grandma Ah Nin made me a grasshopper out of some lalang grass.

Part of that memory constitutes an even bigger picture, which served to build my philosophy of life. What descended upon this six-year-old was the cruelty of reality, of learned helplessness and of appreciation. I have probably not told anyone about this; primarily because this happened a long time ago (in which memory is all but coherent) and also it seemed insignificant to many.

I digress. Holding onto the grasshopper, I walked hand in hand with my aunt along the streets of Old Seremban. (We covered that part already.) I recalled the line of buses at the station, commuters shouting for tickets, and the counter person’s indifference to their worries of not being able to board a seat in the bus. SO much noise fascinates an innocent mind, yet we continued towards Terminal 1 for some shopping experience. As my height allows me to have ample servings of knee views, it was easy to spot a 20 cent coin on the floor. Unbeknownst to my aunt, I had it swiftly in my hands as we entered the tattered building.

While she looked at clothes, I remained mesmerized, looking at the variety of colors and mannequins, like a deer entering a city (technically, this ain’t a city, and I ain’t a deer, but you get the drift). Holy Barney! There’s one pillow with loads of Barney snippets sprawling across it. I was ecstatic and my brains were spurting out. And omg behind it was one with many fishes on them. Somehow in between those discoveries, I lost sight of my aunt. As frantic as I ought to have reacted, I curiously walked out of the store into the main space only to have felt even more panicky than I had felt before. I wasn’t crying, that’s for sure.

In one corner, there was this boy. Yes, he was alone. Probably a little older than I was, but that didn’t matter because right in the back of my mind I told myself that perhaps he was lost too. Then I would have a friend and we could go find our guardians together. He sat there, that boy in his worn-out track pants and slippers (I got so used to staring waist down first), clad also in his grey Power Rangers t-shirt. It didn’t matter to him at all that he smelt funny or his hair was messy, for he kept eyes on passer-bys while persistently jiggling the paper cup in his hands. Before I know it, I was next to him. Seeing the cup filled with coins, prompted me to give mine away. And so I did and the boy stared at me with a look that splits between syukur and surprise, nevertheless he smiled. He then pointed to my right across my shoulders and I turned in reflex to see a worked up aunt storming towards our direction. Yi ma grabbed hold of my hands and yanked me away from the boy. “Don’t talk to strangers,” she said, “…dangerous” and under her breath I heard words like “dirty” and “beggar”. Beggar? What’s that? But it never did escape my mouth. Now, this memory wouldn’t leave my conscious either.

Blah,
Vonnie S.