Q: I come back only do!

Once upon a standard four, Pika told me that I was "always being protected by my friends." That wasn't meant to be a compliment, because shortly after, she questioned whether I felt any shame for using them. The statement took a stab to the heart. I didn’t know her well enough back then and all I could do was to remain silent. Her bluntness caught me off guard as usual, and I wasn’t about to let it slide.

“I know,” managing to murmur in my defense. “ It’s not like I wanted to be protected to begin with,” I was frowning at her inconsideration. I can’t. Not someone like me. What was a budak kecik to know in this big world?

She sighed. “If you want to protect, then learn how to do it lah.” 

Pika was right. Hari ini dalam sejarah, I never thought about these things. I was a child, with no fear of the unknown, never quite learning to appreciate others and only relish in the present gifts. Slowly, but surely I solidified my priorities. As years added up, I was at war with my own principles. School life can be brutal, but it teaches one a tremendous amount of life lessons.  

“Why are you being so unreasonable?!” I caught myself yelling at AJ. There was much perspiration, much anger. I don’t remember what triggered it, but I tasted disappointment for awhile; leaving the aftertaste of pain and sadness.  Strangely, this made me feel like I was a living being, at the thought of it, I was relieved and I knew I am heading to the right place. 

That I’m here.
Vonnie S.