Q: Sial, this Paikea you're talking, is not about a "bad boy" right?

Mamak night brought us together as we tackled a very difficult topic – friends with benefits. Not beating the dead horse here (eek!), this topic ain’t about getting sexual, mind you. On a note of caution, I should have opened the topic as “making friends for benefits”, or perhaps “to be friends to earn benefits”, whichever rings snowbells to your ears.

A: “Pfft, if you are friends with him/her just because you want something, now that’s selfish.”

B: “I disagree. We humans have desires and these desires are a form of motivation that drives us to seek reconciliation to the problem.”

C: “I have to agree with that. But, sometimes, I think it is exceptional. For instance, I made friend with this guy who did not have any friends out of kindness. Is that fulfilling my desire?”

D: “As a living being, all we want is companionship and a sense of belonging. So I do believe that to an extent we seek benefits, and by any means it is not a selfish act, but a form of mutual benefaction. ” 

B: “Thing is, “benefits” are iffy to define. And when I mean “benefits” it encompasses the tangible and intangible, making it an infinite number of possibilities. I could want love, or time, or some understanding, that’s why I made friends with you. So, that friend with no friend, you are sourcing an outlet to practice goodwill and he/she fulfills it. ”

C: “Yea, but I wasn’t seeking to prove my kindness or anything like that.”

D: “But you felt good about it, right? When you made friends with him/her…”

C: “Of course what! Who doesn’t?”

B: “Then that settles it lah! That’s a form of benefit too.”

A: *loudly slurps on teh ais* Owh, now I get it. *grins*

and a cat purred for leftovers,
Vonnie S.